Lynn's story
Finding Friendship: Lynn’s journey from loneliness to connection
Lynn is a 67-year-old lady who lives in a suburb of Cardiff. She reached out to Age Cymru because she was lonely and was looking for some support and company. The Age Cymru adviser listened to Lynn’s concerns and made a referral to a community assistance project, where she could receive support from a local volunteer. Unfortunately, when the project ended, Lynn found herself back to square one. Recognising this, the adviser followed up with Lynn a few weeks later to explore other options.
The adviser introduced Lynn to our Friend in Need telephone befriending service, a program specifically designed for older people in Wales who feel isolated or lonely. Through this service, older people are matched with trained volunteers who call them each week at a set time, providing regular conversation and companionship. Lynn was encouraged by this opportunity and eager to begin. “That’s a start! What you’re doing is amazing. I want to keep trying. I am not a loser, I just want to be part of something. I want to be accepted. I want to get me back. Thank you very much for all your kindness, thank you for listening to me.”
Our Friend in Need Support Officer reached out to Lynn later that same day. She appreciated the follow-up and felt heard and valued. Lynn shared details about herself and her interests to help find a suitable volunteer match. Although there wasn’t an available volunteer immediately, due to high demand, our support officer called Lynn each week to stay in touch and chat until a match could be found.
After two weeks, our support officer informed Lynn that she had been matched with a volunteer named Mike. She provided some background about Mike and confirmed that Lynn was happy to proceed with the match. They set up a schedule for the regular friendship calls. At first, Lynn was emotional during the calls, often tearful, but with time and patience, she gradually opened up. Our support officer checked in with Lynn after her third call with Mike, and she was delighted with how things were going, noting that a genuine friendship was beginning to form.
Mike shared his perspective on their calls, saying:
“In the time I’ve been calling her, my friend’s mood has improved. She says she enjoys our calls, and she’s no longer crying a lot like she did on the first call. She often starts our conversation saying she’s ill, but her spirits always lift by the end of the call. I think this shows the power of the Friend in Need scheme to support isolated people.”
As the Friend in Need service grew, a new volunteer joined the team. To support her transition, our Support Officer matched the volunteer with Lynn for a second friendship call. She reflected on her experience:
“I have definitely seen a noticeable change in Lynn since starting to call her every week. The first session we had was very emotional for Lynn as she was expressing all her past and current struggles. Since then, Lynn has been very positive during the calls, talking about many different aspects of her life. I can always tell that Lynn feels better at the end of each call, as at the start of the call she expresses how it has been a hard week, in comparison to the end when she seems much more joyful in the way she is talking. At the end of each call Lynn is always extremely grateful for the call and she expresses how much she likes talking to me each week.
From a personal perspective, Lynn is absolutely lovely to talk to. I really enjoy listening to all her life experiences, and she is always very interested in what I have studied at university the past week. Each week our conversation flows and we always find lots to talk about.”
Lynn is immensely grateful for Age Cymru’s support and shared her feelings:
“I contacted Age Cymru as I was feeling very low and depressed, and was crying out for help, and spoke to a lovely gentleman called Simon. He listened to my woes and was so helpful in advising me in different ways, one of which was putting me forward for a weekly telephone friendship call.
I then received a call from Fiona on the same day I spoke to Simon, which was great, as it was fresh in my mind. She took some details off me, interests and hobbies, asked when I would like to receive the calls and assured me that it would not be long before I started to receive weekly friendship calls. Fiona updated me every week and lo and behold, two weeks later, I was informed that I would be receiving my first call.
I so look forward to the calls, they are always on time, and if they cannot make it for any reason – or are going to be later – Fiona always lets me know.
I always start the conversation with them saying, I will moan for two mins – let me get that out of my system and then have a lovely chat with you.
I am very fortunate that I have an older gentleman calling and a young lady, both keep me updated on what is going on – and I am learning all about TikTok and Facebook. I learn something new each week.
I really don’t want the calls to end – and the time goes so, so quickly. I appreciate the fact that they give their time freely and are willing to listen to me having a moan and a groan, but we also have a chuckle too.
When I first started to receive the calls, I felt very emotional, and got upset after the first call, and Fiona contacted me to ensure that I was all ok. I was, but the fact that somebody was listening to me – quite overwhelmed me. And they cared enough to let Fiona know that they were concerned about me.
When I put the phone down, I feel quite sad – in that my family do not bother with me at all, and I rely heavily on the befriending service, but thank goodness for Friend in Need, and Age Cymru’s Information and Advice service – you are a blessing, and it’s good to know that somebody cares.”
After a little over a month of receiving calls from the Friend in Need volunteers, Lynn has noticed a significant improvement in her mood and mental well-being. She has even expressed interest in giving back to the service:
“I hope that I will continue to feel better and would like one day to possibly become a Volunteer for Friend in Need myself.”